You've Got Mail
by 2supersmart
Summary: sasusaku Sakura bday fic 'First of all, he completely forgets my birthday. My sixteenth birthday. Which is today. Which I've been dropping such big hints about that even Naruto understood them! NARUTO' Through emails, we watch the story unfold.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Been working on this fic for Sakura's b-day. Totally inspired by all the Meg Cabot books : Every boy's got one, and Boy Next Door. The format was taken from there. Unfortunately, I don't think the (at) sign shows, so no emails were included. Hope you like it!...Pretty common and pointless plot, too xD (almost complete crack if you want to think of it that way).**

**Also, I'm not sure if they have computers, but if they have tv sets, trains and communicators, they're going to have computers, goshdarnit!**

**Disclaimer: For this and all the following chapters - I don't own Naruto**.

You've Got Mail

* * *

Chapter One

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Yamanaka Ino  
Subject: SASUKE  
Date: March, 28th

Hey, forehead girl,

Guess what? I overheard Sasuke-kun talking the other day with Naruto. They mentioned something about gifts. Though you are my rival for Sasuke-kun's heart and would usually keep things about him to myself, I have no clue as to what he's talking about, do you?

In other news, Shikamaru was staring at me yesterday. I don't think he knew I saw him, but I did. He kept glancing at me when he was supposedly staring at clouds. Do you think he likes me?! Oh my gosh, what if he does!?! I mean, if he asks me out – of course I still like Sasuke-kun. Don't think you can steal him away from me just because of this recent development.

...You're still my best friend, though, right? Even if we're rivals? Just wanted to know if you had any idea if Shika liked me or not? You seem to talk to him a lot, since you're both pretty smart and all. I mean, I guess that's the good part of that large forehead of yours. You're the medic on a lot of his missions, too.

Anyways, e-mail me back ASAP!

-Ino

PS. Happy birthday, forehead girl.

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Uzumaki Naruto  
Subject: SAKURA-CHAN!  
Date: March 28th 

Ne, Sakura-chain,

You no Sasuke-teem didn't mean to forget, right? Hes just stupid that weigh. I mean, even tho you reminded the hole teem in a weigh even I couldn't forget it, and I was talking to him about gifts all day yesterday. I guess that Sasuke just has a reel bad memory. Me and Kakashi-sensei remembered, and thats all that counts, write?

& I'm sure Sasuke-teem didn't mean too beet up that guy hew was giving you those flours and looking at you funny...

Well, actually, maybe he did. But don't bee mad at him! Most important of all, don't bee mad at me!

-Naruto

PS. I'm sorry if their r any mis steaks, Ive got too type this reel fast because Sasuke-teem is going too notice I'm on his computer again. I used spell check tho, like you told me too! (I had to add Kakashi-sensei's name in the list of words, tho, because I NO I spelled that write.)

PPS. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAKURA-CHAN!

* * *

To: Yamanaka Ino  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: SASUKE (aka JERKWAD)  
Date: March 28th 

Ino-pig?

Yeah, you can have Sasuke if you want. And it took you long enough to realize that Shikamaru liked you! (Gosh, and I thought Naruto was dense! Not to stereotype, but you and Naruto are such blonds.)

Well, back to the subject of the jerk wad that I used to know as Sasuke. First of all, he completely forgets my birthday. My **sixteenth** birthday. Which is today. Which I've been dropping such big hints about that even **Naruto** understood them! **NARUTO!** And when Kakashi-sensei tells him about it, do you know what he said?

"So?"

Okay, so it wasn't that big a deal. Typical Sasuke behaviour.

Until he beats up my patient! It was no big deal that one of my male patients that recently left the hospital gave me a gift. Really, I talk with lots of my patients about things and I told Tanaka-san my birthday. I totally forgot his, but that's besides the point. He was just being nice and giving me flowers, until Sasuke decides to show up.

Here's a replay:

Sasuke: "Sakura, who is this and what the hell is he doing here?"

Tanaka: "I'm one of her previous patients. I was just wishing Sakura-san a happy birthday and thanking her for tending to me."

Sasuke: "Well, she doesn't need it."

Me: "Sasuke-kun!"

-I take the flowers-

Me: "Thank you, Tanaka-san!"

Tanaka: "You're welcome, Sakura-san! I'm glad you liked them!"

Sasuke: "I thought I told you to beat it!"

Me: "Sasuke-kun!"

Tanaka: "How about a date tomorrow night, Sakura-san?"

Sasuke: "Okay, that's it..." -insert violence here-

Yeah. That's pretty much what happened. The nerve of that jerk to beat him up! I mean, I wasn't going to accept anyways.  
Sorry to rant, Ino, but I just needed to get that off my chest.

Best friends forever, right? Especially now Sasuke's out of the picture...(I'm still going to call you Ino-pig, though)

-Sakura

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Hatake Kakashi  
Subject: DAY OFF  
Date: March 28th 

Yo, Sakura,

Don't forget, we have a day off tomorrow. Oh, and did you like my present? I'm sure you'll put it to good use. -wink- Don't worry about Sasuke either, you know how he is.

-Kakashi

* * *

To: Uzumaki Naruto  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: SAKURA-CHAN!  
CC: Hatake Kakashi  
Date: March 28th 

I'd like you both to know that I appreciate your concern, but since Sasuke's going to be such a jerk, I'll only forgive him if he apologizes himself.

Naruto: Thanks for trying, Naruto. Next time, use grammar check, too...and maybe a dictionary.

Kakashi: I didn't forget. Oh, and your present. Right. The book that's currently burning in my fireplace. I'm using it, alright. It's keeping me warm at night. -wink-

-Sakura

* * *

**tbc...** Very abrupt ending, I know, but it was getting hard to end this chapter off without making it super-long xD. R&R please :-D 


	2. Chapter 2

**An: Short AN, To all those that reviewed I totally lufferz you guys :3**

* * *

Chapter Two

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Yamanaka Ino  
Subject: Re: Re: SASUKE (aka JERKWAD)  
Date: March 30th

Forehead-girl,

Usually, it would be nice to know that you've given up on Sasuke-kun, but I'm already dating Shikamaru. (That's right, he asked me out yesterday! Isn't that great!?!) So, you can have him back.

I think you should make him apologize. Beating that patient up might have been going too far. But you know, from what you told me, it seems like he was jealous. All the signs are there, so don't be a "blond" (Don't worry about the comment, no offense was taken, since Naruto **is** pretty dense. Poor Hinata).

Well, I'll talk to you later, forehead-girl. Shika's going to be picking me up for our second date in 2 hours and I need that much to get ready.

-Your best friend, Ino (I'm still going to call you Forehead-girl. The nickname's grown on me.)

* * *

To: Yamanaka Ino  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: FINALLY  
Date: March 30th 

Ino-pig,

Glad you and Shikamaru finally got together! About time, I say. Tell me how both dates went once you get back, okay?

Oh and, Sasuke? Jealous? I bet he was just mad that we were both breathing his precious air or something like that. Anyways, he has no right to be jealous if that was the case. He didn't even remember my birthday! My sweet sixteen! I don't mind him forgetting all the other ones, but this one was supposed to be special, wasn't it?

It's all his fault that Tanaka-san is stuck in the hospital again right after coming out. He refused to have me as his nurse, too!

Well, have fun with Shikamaru.

-Sakura

PS. Yes, I know, we all sympathize for Hinata. That poor girl...

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Tsunade  
Subject: WHAT'S THIS I HEAR...  
Date: March 30th 

...about you not talking to the Uchiha? You have to make up with him by the next mission. That's an order. We can't have you battling each other instead of the enemy on the field. I expect my student to be responsible and professional during a mission, do I make myself clear?

Also, if you know anything about why your patient Tanaka has returned to the hospital with burns and cut up right after he left, please tell me. He seems to be refusing you as his nurse, too.

...Oh, and Sakura. Do you happen to know where Shizune hid my sake? It's not where she usually hides it...

-Tsunade

* * *

To: Tsunade  
From: Sakura  
Subject: Re: WHAT'S THIS I HEAR...  
Date: March 30th 

Dear Hokage-sama,

So I'm guessing that the news of me not talking to jerk wa- Sasuke is getting around the village pretty quickly. I can definitely assure you that I wont bring this conflict to the battlefield. You should know I'm better then that.

How about I make a deal with you, shishou? You call off that order and I tell you where Shizune's new hiding place is.

Think about it.

Your student,  
Sakura

* * *

To: Shizune  
From: Tsunade  
Subject: Sake?  
Date: March 30th 

Shizune,

I think it'd be in your best interest to give me back my precious sake. I'm actually thinking of taking back my order to Sakura about getting along with Sasuke because she told me she'd tell me where you hid it.

Now, I ask you, how do we have them repopulate the Uchiha clan when she's mad at him, huh? **How, I ask you!?!**

I hope you're happy about this. It's all your fault that the Uchiha clan wont be repopulated. I mean, have you **seen** that Uchiha kid? After coming back from killing Orochimaru and his brother, you'd think he'd start noticing his fans! Sakura's the only one patient enough and most girls have given up or are afraid of him. It's best just to tell me where the sake is.

You have until tomorrow.

-Tsunade

* * *

To: Tsunade  
From: Shizune  
Subject: Re: Sake?  
Date: March 30th 

Tsunade-sama, let me first say, if the Uchiha clan were to become extinct, it would fall on your alcohol-obsessed shoulders.

Secondly, have you finished that pile of papers I told you to look over this afternoon? They're urgent.

Lastly, I've just changed the location of your sake bottles. Sakura doesn't know where they are this time. Smart girl, though, to use that to blackmail you.

-Shizune

...And Tonton.

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Tsunade  
Subject: Re: Re: WHAT'S THIS I HEAR...  
Date: March 31st  
Attachments: article.pdf 

Sakura,

I'll let you know that Shizune has cunningly hid away the sake to an undisclosed location that neither you or I know; therefore, you have until next week's mission to make nice with the Uchiha.

By the way, you might want to see the article I attached onto this. Seems like you and Uchiha are causing quite the commotion in the gossip section. If there's anything I can do for you after you read it, just let me know. Oh, and please refrain from throwing things.

-Tsunade

* * *

Attachment: 

**Not-So-Sweet Sixteen**

The word on the street is that the two apprenticing under the legendary Sennin Tsunade and Orochimaru are not on speaking terms! That's right, Sakura – training under Hokage-sama – and Uchiha Sasuke – ex-student of the late S-ranked nukenin Orochimaru – had an argument on the day of Ms. Haruno's sixteenth birthday. Witnesses say there was a third party involved. An argument ensued and after a comment from the third party, a fist flew. Several fire-involved techniques and incidents including projectiles occurred before Sakura had finally been able to pry Sasuke off the unknown party and help the injured man to the hospital.

It is assumed that this man and Sakura had been in some sort of a relationship and once Sasuke found out, he, in a jealous rage, proceeded in attacking him.

Investigations as to who this mystery man is are currently in progress...

* * *

To: Tsunade  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: WHAT?!?  
Date: March 31st 

Tsunade-shishou,

As the Hokage, you should have **some** control as to what is being printed, don't you? I demand that the whole article you sent me is to be denied in the next column, and an apology is made to all parties, seeing as it's not true. Sure, Sasuke did beat him up, but I sure as hell wasn't dating him and if I was, Sasuke definitely wouldn't get jealous.

Can you please make sure the newspaper is notified of these changes, seeing as it _does_ include my private life and everything.

-Sakura

PS. Pretty smart move Shizune pulled there. Give me at least two weeks to forgive the cold bastard. Kami knows how long it'll take until he notices I'm not talking to him.

* * *

**R&R please:3**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Kay well, this is the last chapter...APRIL FOOLS! XD it's actually the second last. I'm serious this time.**

**Well, I'm gonna dedicate this to my friend Lewis (aka Lewsi) since it's his birthday today! whoo! -just came back from his party and is filled up on cake and pizza- yeah, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEWSI! (when you actually get to reading this)**

**P.S. All those that reviewed (you know who you are) you guys(/gals) are awesome :DD Didn't get to reply to your reviews, but I appreciate them and thanks :hearts:  
**

* * *

Chapter Three

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Konoha News – Head of Gossip Column  
Subject: Article 'Not-So-Sweet-Sixteen'  
Date: April 1st

Ms. Haruno,

From what I could hear in the argument that's going on in my boss's office in his meeting with Hokage-sama, I get the idea you don't agree to our version of the story. I'm awfully sorry to have been a bother to you and Hokage-sama, but all I can do for you is write an apology to you in the next column. It seems as though someone has already confirmed this story. Someone who is to have very valid resources. Unfortunately, we cannot disclose the name of this person, seeing as they have requested not to be identified, and though this is a gossip column, we have a strict 'caller confidentiality' rule.

I apologize again for all the inconvenience this has brought you.

-The Konoha News – Gossip Column Staff

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Yamanaka Ino  
Subject: Dates  
Date: April 1st 

Hey forehead,

I read the article in the gossip section today. I told you Sasuke was jealous! Even the newspaper says so!

Anyways, you wanted to know about my dates with Shika? They were great! I mean, they weren't all that romantic, but there's something about star-gazing on your boyfriend's chest that makes it feel almost...magical. Am I sounding a little love-struck here?

Well, other then the star-gazing, we went to dinner at a cozy little diner on our first date. You couldn't tell from the outside, but the diner was absolutely perfect inside. Quiet, good food, and no little kids from the other tables staring at you either.

Let me tell you, Sakura, if you don't go out with Sasuke, at least go out with _someone_. We can double-date sometime and you could see how sweet Shikamaru is. (He's mine, though. You can't have him.)

I say go for Sasuke. It'd make me feel better if one of us got him after the years of rivalry.

-Ino

* * *

To: Yamanaka Ino  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: Dates  
Date: April 1st 

Ino-pig – or should I start calling you Mrs. Nara?

A **little** love-struck? Try _a lot_. Didn't know that lazy, cloud-gazing Shikamaru could be such a sweetheart. Of course, he's yours, I wouldn't dream of taking him away from you.

Also, Ino, about the newspaper article...did you notice it was in the**gossip** section? Since when did you believe everything you read in there? I didn't even know you read the newspaper, let alone the gossip section.

Unfortunately, with all the work I'm getting from Tsunade-shishou and extra training time with the team for our mission next week, I don't think I'd have time to date. Especially not with jerk wad. I don't think he's noticed me giving him the cold shoulder yet. If he doesn't notice **that**, then what's the chances of him getting jealous? Not much.

Something weird happened today, too, involving the article. I told shishou to tell the newspaper to correct the article (since it's so very wrong) but they replied back to me and said some unknown but very reliable source told them the facts were correct. Hm, figure that. Any idea as to who told them?

-Sakura

PS. Don't remind me about the rivalry. I mean, now that I think about it, it might have quite possibly been appearance-based. At least on your part, seeing as you chose Shikamaru so quickly. You're better off with Shikamaru, me thinks. He's a little lazy, but not bad-looking either.

* * *

To: Uzumaki Naruto  
From: Uchiha Sasuke  
Subject: ...  
Date: April 1st 

Dobe-

Would you happen to know why Sakura was avoiding me? I'm not the one who was flirting with their boyfriend/patient and being annoying in front of **her** face. Of course, I wouldn't have a boyfriend since I'm straight and I wouldn't have a patient either seeing as I'm not a medic...

Just answer my question.

-Sasuke

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Uzumaki Naruto  
Subject: Sasuke-teme  
Date: April 1st  
Attachments: Sasukeemail.doc 

Dear Sakura-chan,

I used grammar check and a dictionary this time, really, I did, dattebayo! Well, guess what? Sasuke-teme sent me an e-mail this afternoon! I attached it to this e-mail, just in case you didn't believe me. I told you that Sasuke-teme was sorry!

Guess what else? I ate lunch with Hinata today and she didn't faint! Maybe she doesn't hate me! She's real nice when she doesn't faint on you all the time. I asked her to eat ramen with me tomorrow!

-Naruto

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Tsunade  
Subject: Article  
Date: April 1st 

Sakura-

I know you're busy with all the house calls I've made you run, but when you get to read this, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I've managed to make the News Company to issue an apology to you. They couldn't deny everything, though. Something about someone confirming it and customer confidentiality. You owe me a bottle of sake for all the...persuading I've done for you. My throat hurts.

-Tsunade

* * *

To: Yamanaka Ino  
From: Hyuuga Hinata  
Subject: Thank you  
CC: Haruno Sakura  
Date: April 1st 

Dear Sakura-san and Ino-san,

Thank you very much for the advice about Naruto-kun. It worked well. We had lunch together today at the ramen stand. It took a lot not to faint when he asked me to eat with him tomorrow as well, but I remembered your advice and managed not to.

Thank you again,

Hinata

* * *

To: Hyuuga Hinata  
From: Yamanaka Ino  
Subject: Re: Thank you  
Date: April 1st 

Hinata,

No need to thank us! Forehead-girl and I were just trying to help! Both of us thought it was about time Naruto finally stopped being so dense. Besides, you two are just so darn cute together!(Much like me and Shika.)

Good luck tomorrow and remember, don't faint!

-Ino

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke  
From: Uzumaki Naruto  
Subject: Re: ... (be a little more creative, teme!)  
Date: April 1st 

Sasuke-teme,

Glad you finally noticed! Geez, Sasuke-teme, I thought you'd never catch on! As for the reason Sakura-chan's mad...you'll find out a little later. Or maybe you should think about it, since I'm not going to tell you :-P

Just to let you know, teme, that guy wasn't Sakura-chan's boyfriend. Sakura-chan doesn't have a boyfriend. If she did, she'd tell me and Ino. That way, the whole town would know. You're not very bright, are you? Anyways, you better figure out what you did wrong and apologize to her!

-Naruto

PS. I suggest you do it in person and bring a lot of padding. Sakura-chan might get angrier if you apologize online and the padding...is just for emergencies. She can punch pretty hard.

* * *

**Next: Last Chapter (this was meant to be a short story x3) Thanks for those that actually read this. R&R? Thanks :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Whoo last chapter. This was meant to be short, so, yeah x3. This was also supposed to be posted yesterday but I went to this opera my friend was preforming it. She was in the chorus :thumbs up: Yeah, so I got home super-late (and we didn't even watch the whole thing, my friend got sleepy and she was my ticket home xD)**

**Anyways, I hope those that read this enjoyed it :3 It was definitely fun to write!**

* * *

Chapter Four

To: Uchiha Sasuke  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: None  
Date: April 2nd  
BCC: Uzumaki Naruto

Sasuke,

I read the e-mail you sent Naruto. How, don't ask me, but I'm sure you figured it out anyways. First of all, how dare you accuse me of flirting! That was common courtesy, unlike someone who beat up a civilian because they were flirting in front of them. Second of all, you forgot my birthday – my sweet sixteen. You couldn't let me receive a gift from someone who actually remembered it (only after knowing them for a month, unlike you, whom I've known for years) in peace?!?

I hope you're happy you know what you did wrong now, Sasuke. Maybe now you can explain to me why the hell you did it. It isn't like you to blow up at such a trivial thing like someone breathing your air or something.

-Sakura

* * *

To: Tsunade  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: Article  
Date: April 2nd 

Shishou,

I'm already aware of this, actually. A reporter or worker at Konoha News told me that she heard you and the manager through the doors. Thank you for that.

-Sakura

PS. I'll see what I can do about that sake, but this is the only time, you hear me, shishou?

* * *

To: Hyuuga Hinata  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: Thank You  
Date: April 2nd 

Hinata-chan,

No problem! I'm glad to finally get Naruto off my back. It's nice to have someone care about you in that way, but it was getting annoying. Besides, I don't think he liked me any more then a sister anyway. You two, on the other hand, make a great couple. I received an e-mail from him saying he was excited about the ramen date tomorrow (well...today, actually), too! Well, if the exclamation marks were any indication.

I was glad to help out.

-Sakura

* * *

To: Uzumaki Naruto  
From: Uchiha Sasuke  
Subject: Naruto...  
Date: April 2nd 

Dobe,

Don't you think it would've been a good idea if you had **warned** me that you sent a copy to Sakura?! You're dead if this turns out badly.

Dead.

-Sasuke

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Uchiha Sasuke  
Subject: Re: None  
Date: April 2nd 

Sakura,

I think it's better if we talk about this in person. Meet me at the bridge in an hour.

-Sasuke

PS. Maybe why I did that was because I was in a – what was it they called it? – "jealous rage".

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Yamanaka Ino  
Subject: SAKURA!  
Date: April 2nd 

FOREHEAD GIRL!

Was that you I saw behind the tree near the bridge with Sasuke?!? I thought you said you were mad at him!! You even called him a jerk wad! Well, it sure didn't seem like it when I saw you two going at it.

So, did you two make up? I'm guessing you did. I left before things got any worse. Really, forehead-girl, what were you two trying to do? Eat each other's faces?!?!

I mean...even Shika and I don't do that, we only- oh, wait. Shika's behind me and told me it was too troublesome to tell you. Well, maybe we can go on that double-date after all. What do you say, forehead-chan?

-Ino

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke  
From: Uzumaki Naruto  
Subject: WAS IT YOU GUYS?...  
CC: Haruno Sakura  
Date: April 2nd 

Oi! Was it you and Sakura-chan I saw today?

What were you doing behind that tree?!? I mean, Hinata-chan and I were walking to Ichiraku, minding our own business when we heard sounds coming from the woods! Really, teme, at least do that somewhere else. I figured it was Sakura-chan because of the pink. I mean, no matter how gay you seemed, teme, I know you wouldn't wear pink. Next time you guys decide to make up/make out, do it somewhere where poor Hinata-chan's innocence isn't at stake. She fainted and I had to carry her home! Did you know that Neji was **that** protective of his cousin he seemed to hate so much before? Not to mention Hinata's dad...

-Naruto

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke  
From: Haruno Sakura  
Subject: Re: Re: None  
Date: April 3rd 

So, Sasuke,

I knew it was you that called Konoha News! Well, after that e-mail anyways. I was surprised you would admit it, though.

As for yesterday – it's your fault that my outfit was ruined against that tree...then those bushes...

But I forgive you. For everything, even though you **were** being a jerk. You did give me that late birthday present, though(which I have to thank you again for). I still can't believe you actually thought I was going out with Tanaka-san...

Love,

Sakura

PS. No need to be jealous anymore, I'm all yours ;-)

PPS. How does a double-date with Ino and Shikamaru sound?

THE EN-...or not

To: Haruno Sakura  
From: Tsunade  
Subject: So...  
CC: Uchiha Sasuke  
Date: April 3rd

Sakura,

I'm glad you and the Uchiha finally made up. Finally, you two can restore the Uchiha cl- I mean, the mission you're going on this week will be a guaranteed success.

Oh, and guess what? I found out where Shizune hid the sake! It was in between my piles of work I had yet to sign. What a great hiding spot...I would've never guessed it being there. I **did** have to actually do half the work and endure the hand cramps to find it, but I think it was worth it.

-Tsunade

PS. Uchiha- Kakashi just came in and told me to tell you (and Sakura as well) to try that page he bookmarked in the book he gave you.

THE END.

* * *

** Really this time. Now go and review. Please?**


End file.
